Winters in Minnesota get extremely cold and dark, so I fly off to the sun and sea as often as possible, to avoid my soul from becoming the same. I don't consider it real Mexico, but a little trip to Cancun was just what the doctor ordered.
I never knew why so many Minnesotans went to Mexico in the winter. I mean, I have been all over Mexico in my life, but it seemed like every one I met had a trip to Mexico planned during winter. When I moved back to MN, I totally got it.
A girl I work with had asked me to go on a girls' trip before she fell pregnant. Of course I said yes, and looked at Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Columbia, but Cancun ended up being the cheapest, easiest trip for a 4-day weekend full of sun and fun. So off we went!
Our Spirit Airline red-eye was a complete nightmare. Surprise, surprise! It was so turbulent, the woman in the row next to us was screaming in agony out of fear which in turn freaked everyone else out. Hence, we made it!
The weekend was fun-filled with the usual things one does in Cancun: days were spent on the beach or by the pool, we ate a ton, drank a ton, and danced each night until the wee hours. All of these things were fantastic, and just what we were looking for.
Tequila is our friend, right? We enjoyed shots here and there and it didn't seem to phase us, but there is one I will never forget for the rest of my life. While saddled up at the pool bar, we took a shot that we didn't know had come from a bottle that was sitting in the sun for literally hours. After downing the scorching shot of not-top-shelf tequila, we put the warm lime in our mouths to find out he'd put salt on them! Like holy shit - the worst and funniest face-making shot of our lives!
And then....
On our final night we over indulged at the Italian restaurant, where I even ate a grasshopper - a delicacy? We went back to da club, and once our dancing feet were tired we headed for bed. But not before I stripped down at one of the pools to swim. Classy, I know.
I woke up around 4am to the familiar feeling of nausea. As soon as my eyes opened, I bolted out of bed, ran to the toilet and violently projected everything I ate the night before. A few minutes later it happened again, and again, and then for the next few hours everything was trying to get out of me as quickly as possible, and whichever way possible. It was not pretty.
Hours went by spent in the bathroom. I had given everything I had to the porcelain god yet he was still not satisfied. I was weak, delirious, in pain and our flight was in about 8 hours!
We called the hotel doctor and once he confirmed he'd be up to the room, my friend headed to breakfast. Hearing a knock I got up to greet the doctor. Now let me set the scene. I was wearing lacy black underwear, a white David Bowie tank with no bra, my hair was a mess and I'm certain I smelled like shit and puke. I opened the door, and before my eyes was a 6'5" tan, handsome, man about 25 years old. I mean drop dead gorgeous. I looked at him, said "Of COURSE you're the doctor!"and shuffled back to the bed in pain and tears.
He asked questions, touched my stomach, I even cried and threw up while he was there. My friend returned to find me in bed, with this dreamboat next to me, and I can only imagine her thoughts. When he asked my age, he couldn't believe it, and proceeded to flirt with me. I learned about the small town in Mexico he was from, his hardship finding love because of his travel-doctor job, his family.... Was this some sort of sick joke???
I had food poisoning and a dangerously low blood pressure so he recommended some shots to speed up recovery. I said hell no - not for $800. He left, I finally slept, and a few hours later I went to find him again. The sight of the sea made me angry and I loathed the feeling of the sun - something was very, very wrong and I had to do something. We had a flight to catch!
The concierge called the doctor and when he arrived he said we would head to his office. We walked to a new section of the hotel, took an elevator up, and when we arrived at this "office", I looked down the hallway to see the bedroom, a suitcase, and clothes strewn about. This office was the hot doctors hotel room!
He offered me a list of shots to at least get me on the plane so I opted for the two most powerful. I then asked him which arm he wanted to use and he said, "No. They will be to the butt!"
Say wha?????
He led me to the bedroom area of his "office" and had me lie down on my stomach on the bed. While on this stallion's unmade bed, he pulled my pants down below my butt cheeks and said "OK, ready?" Then BAM! First shot in the right cheek. Again he asked if I was ready then BAM! Second shot in the left.
I was laugh-crying and he was giggling and holding his fingers over the shot points, yes, touching my bare butt. After a few seconds, he said I was done so I stood up, pulled my pants up, walked down to the lobby where my friend was waiting with my bags. We hopped in a taxi, and away we went with zero hiccups to the airport then all the way back home.
Thank you Mexico for yet another exhilarating adventure!
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